May is mental health awareness month and I thought that this would be the perfect time to talk about the frequency of good mental health. Mental health is being talked about now more than ever; with the current political divide, economic state, and the aftermath of coming through a global pandemic, we have a lot on our metaphorical plates. So, it’s understandable that with all the pressure, we are desperately seeking some sort of relief. But where do we start?
Let’s begin with a definition…what is good mental health? Good mental health is defined by the World Mental Healthcare Association as: “a state of well-being where an individual experiences happiness, health, and effective functioning in daily life.” By this definition we can safely deduct that if you’re feeling unhappy, unwell, and finding it difficult to function in your daily life, you are probably not experiencing optimal mental health. It’s also worth noting that fleeting moments of unhappiness, depression, or feeling despondent is a normal response to the everyday stressors of life and is not a sign of mental illness in any way, however if you are feeling this way predominantly and consistently it may be time to consult a mental health professional.
Being a person who has experienced diagnosed social anxiety throughout my life I know, all too well, the pitfalls and mental obstacle courses we can create for ourselves in an attempt to ‘try to get happy’. And that brings me to what you can start doing today to help ease your way into a more peaceful, happy, and overall improved state of being in your daily life.
Notice the feelings.
You know when your mental health is suffering because you don’t feel good. You lack energy. You lack motivation. You feel as though your senses are dulled and you have an overall feeling of ‘ick’. If you can identify when you are feeling this way, Congratulations! You are right on track to taking the next steps.
Don’t think so much.
This is where things get tricky because we hear so often in personal development and spiritual teachings that our ‘thoughts become things’, and while this is true, it many times gives us the impression that we can ‘fix’ our situation by manufacturing new ‘happier’ thoughts. When we TRY to think thoughts that we believe are happier thoughts we are essentially still focusing on the absence of the happiness in our lives that we so desperately long for. The focus of energy is on the effort to fix the problem, but the solution never resides at the same location as the problem and so we find ourselves running around in mental circles trying to find the thoughts that will lead us to our new location of happiness (and we wonder why we are exhausted) without realizing that the thoughts that relate to the solution LIVE IN PROXIMITY TO THE SOLUTION and not in proximity to the problem. So what does this mean? Don’t try to THINK your way happier - It will never provide a long term solution. So what is the solution?
Feel More.
If thinking our way to happiness isn’t the solution then what is? FEELING our way to happiness! Think about it, when you notice that you are unhappy you don’t say ‘Hey world! I’m thinking unhappy today.” no, you say “Hey, I’m FEELING unhappy.” If your feeling is a good enough indicator for you to realize that you aren’t doing so well mentally, then why wouldn’t your feeling be a good resource for finding solution?
It is far more beneficial to take an assessment of how we are feeling at any given time than to attempt to have an ongoing inventory of our thoughts. When you notice that you’re not feeling good, ask yourself what you could do, in that moment, to feel a little bit better. Notice when you do feel good; what are you doing? What are you thinking about? I can pretty much guarantee that you’re not thinking about the things that you are thinking about when you don’t feel good! When you notice what thoughts, actions, behaviors, circumstances promote feelings of well being…then amp up those things in your life.
Give Grace.
Finally, give yourself grace as you’re navigating this new way of being. You have had a lot of practice at trying to think your way out of unhappiness…so this process is going to involve a learning curve. Don’t beat yourself up and fall into self-judgement. Take one day at a time and offer yourself many chances for re-dos! Remember that feeling better is the goal and strive for every small step and every little win!
***This month’s call will be on Sunday, June 1@ 10am EDT***
Join Zoom Meeting
https://us02web.zoom.us/j/6442987503
Meeting ID: 644 298 7503
Do you consider yourself to be in good mental health?
Do you allow yourself the freedom to take ‘mental health days’?
Do you find that you judge yourself for acknowledging a need to step back and take a break?
What would it feel like if you gave yourself permission to prioritize your mental wellbeing?
How can you pro-actively create more space in your daily routine for more happiness and wellbeing?